There used to be a time where I was always considered a cocky, self-righteous, self-indulgent, selfish person, and my friends would always tell me to grow up, to be more gentle and generous and basically, be good. Having heard that advice, and having been through long, painful years where I've gradually lost contact with those old friends, I've made new friends since then, and you know, they're kind, and they're friendly, but I'm very unhappy when I'm around them.
In the old days, everything bad that happened to me, I deserved it. Nowadays, everything bad that happens to me, I often think it's my fault, but lately, I've found myself confused, asking myself about what I've been doing to deserve to be so unhappy these past few weeks. I asked people, "What am I doing wrong?", and you know what... you know what the funny thing is? They told me, that I'm "not doing anything wrong".
And that's exactly what I thought, and exactly why I found myself confused, because I'm a big believer in karma. I believe we all get what we deserve. I've grown. I'm more gentle and generous. And I've been told by others that I'm a good, good person deep inside. So even after changing myself to be less arrogant and self-centered, why is it that I'm still unhappy? I ask others this question, and they say something along the lines of: "because that's life" or "because life is not always fair" or "because that's the way the cookie crumbles"... and that just leads me to become even more confused.
I hate being unhappy, and not being able to change myself to perhaps bring about my own joy. I want to know what I'm doing wrong. What am I doing wrong?
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8 comments:
Life is what you perceive it to be. It can be good or bad but only to you, in your mind. And, because of that, you can choose what it is, what it will be.
You manifest your own destiny. Heck, I'm in a "wheelchair" (who wants that???) but I'm choosing to be happy. I 'could' be a LOT worse off.
I agree with the first two comments! You are what you think. In some form, we all manifest our lives based on our thoughts. The trick is just not giving any energy to all of that involuntary thinking.
E. Michelle
To all:
Thank you, but I was, at the time, merely unhappy thanks to some bad cards being dealt to me in the game of life. I'm a sunny, positive person deep inside.
E. Michelle,
That certainly is the case.
Michael.
Some of the other comments are right on target. You CAN choose to be happy. I am not discounting the validity of medical depression, but years ago I went through a divorce, the worst year of my life. The only thing that held me from some awful fate would have been my daughter, my love and responsibility for her. After several black months I got the best advice of my life from, of all people, my soon to be ex-mother in law (who still is a friend to this day) She told me I could choose to be happy or miserable. It was not a five minute instant, magical change but I decided I would not allow datrkness or another person to steal my life and time. Things ogt much better. I'm even friends with the ex now, as long as we don't have to live together. Hope this helps.
Thank you for your sound advice, Alan. My parents are divorced, too. My father is divorced twice. I also find it surprising that the best medicine can come from the most unexpected sources. It's incredible to see who stays by your side to console you in your times of trouble.
We all have our burden and we have all heard that we can choose to be happy even when the going gets tough. I guess I need to learn how to do that, but it's difficult with so many things wrong around me.
Michael.
I'm not sure if this advice will help you, but it did help me. the other day while I was driving with my brother, I was getting annoyed because it seemed like I was hitting every single red light on that strip of road. my brother said "it's not that you're actually hitting every red light, it's just that you notice the red light more because it's a negative thing. people these days are more focused on every negative thing that happens to them and they forget to look at all of the good things that they have in their life." it's called the law of attraction. if you tend to be attached to anything unpleasant, then unpleasant events will continue to occur. I've found this to be true.
you should write out a list of everything in your life that you are thankful for. I find that after doing this, you at least seem a little bit happier, or at least it should put a smile on your face.
I wish you all the best, michael. you seem to be a very good person. don't let anyone tell you different because what's important is your self-perception.
Hey Jessica,
It's really sound advice, but I assure: I don't need it!
I'm very happy overall and I'm fine. I perceive life to be swell and I wouldn't give mine up for anything. We just have rough days.
Really. I'm smiling here. :)
Michael.
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