34 - The tears need answers.

I am always disheartened by the fact that nobody ever calls me or texts me except my mother. Sure, people will reply to my text messages or pick up my call but they will never initiate interaction between me and them. It's like nobody cares that I'm here.

But every now and then, I receive a phone call from someone that actually wants me because I've somehow been with them and gotten along with them enough to be the person they call in times of trouble. This is a good thing, but these phone calls never come easy.

You answer the call and if you have Caller ID, you will know if it's someone close to you. Seeing their names on the Caller ID of my phone makes me so happy because I look forward to communicating with my good friend or my close family.

Oh, but the first thing you hear from your loved one is the sniffling, the sobbing, the cold, hard facts of the situation, distorted by the inability to speak properly while crying, and in most cases, the audible outdoor noises, such as the wind blowing, the cars beeping, the dogs barking and the chirping birds.

I've called people like this before. People have heard me wail about what's wrong on the phone. People have watched my waterworks on a webcam. One even woke up to find a letter on the floor in the morning, with my handwritten ravings, ink smudged by the tears that passionately ran down my face and managed to freely drop on to the scripture.

I've cried dozens of times, in front of dozens of different people.

But what do we do when someone is crying? What can we possibly say to make the tears go away? What answers are we supposed to give them?

Sometimes people have the appropriate answers. My best friend always has the right ones for me. He's an expert at drying my eyes with his trusting and trustworthy words.

I was also able to give my own father some answers when he was contemplating suicide or leaving the country for good. It wasn't easy as the 16-year-old son, but hey, I am surprised at myself as I feel rather humbled by his confiding in me.

Sometimes people don't have the answers, such as her for example. She never did, whenever and wherever we were sitting opposite each other. What can I say? Falling in love makes you raise your expectations.

There are many of my friends who don't carry the content or the articulateness in their words to soothe others whom are crying. Sometimes, even I don't and so I feel awful.

I can only hope I had the right answers this time round, with this phone call I got today just moments ago. I can only hope that what she has lost gets returned to her by the hands of God and that she stops crying.

And if I didn't provide the right answers this time round, I can only hope that I get another chance in the future. I feel sympathy pains. I want good things for her. That has never changed and will never change because she's my dear friend.

Update (8:09PM): Are you okay?