If I could go back in time five years ago and meet myself and have a conversation with the thirteen-year-old me, I would tell him that there isn't anything he can't do if he tries hard enough. Only my parents, my closest friends and I know my deepest, most fundamental flaws, and one of the ones that keeps cropping up in my life is my willingness to give in to pressure, to the difficulties placed in front of me.
Someone once told me that it's way too easy to give up and do nothing. He told me that most people are born with either a need to always keep trying 'til they reach the top, or no such compulsion at all. Either they are goal-orientated, or they're happy-go-lucky.
I was born as one of the competitive ones who thirsted for success. It mattered to me who won at Monopoly games, and what grades I got in primary school, and who could be the most fun to be around and have the most friends at school.
But somewhere along the way, I know I gave up on myself. I started giving in to time constraints, not caring about the grades, or the attendance, and openly accepting punishment from my family and my teachers. I was kicked out of the house one time, I slept past school way too often, I thought to myself that the education system is a joke, I squandered my pocket money, and I became this self-absorbed, antisocial prick because being a friend to everybody was just too troublesome.
Because being well-behaved, and 'fighting' for greater and better things was just too difficult. It took up my time and energy, and that was the reason I gave myself permission to give in.
I can't do that anymore, I have to stop. All the best opportunities that have slipped through my fingers have slipped because I gave up. And five years from now, I don't want to talk about going back in time and telling my current 18-year-old self not to give up on something just because it's hard.
If I'm going through Hell, I have to keep going. I guess the point I'm trying to tell you (i.e., myself), if we're not seeing any purpose in doing something, it's possible that we're just not seeing it in the right way.
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10 comments:
Thanks for your informative post. In life, we usually want to have the easier, but not nessisarily the better way out. We don't want to go through hard, tough times and just want to do nothing. I guess that is how we are. For me, I give up quite easily because I always get frustrated when I fail and don't want to try it again. Honestly, I think everyone is lazy, it's just how much your level of laziness is.
Recently, I printed out my weight loss schedule, because I wanted to lose some kilos. I had the schedule hanging in my room for like 2 months and still didn't stick to it at all. I just told myself that I do it the next day everytime, hence, I procrastinated everything. I still have the same figure, no slimmer but may be fatter.I gave up because I thought I had no time. However, when I reflected on this matter, I realized that I could replace T.V. time with exercising. I guess I should try to stick to my schedule and lose weight as quickly as posible. Thanks for bringing up this serious matter that I've yet to overcome in life. I'm trying to lose my kilos now, wish me good luck!
Don't be hard on yourself. There are still plenty of things that you can do. The gaps between your fingers is not that big or that terminal.
Hello, this post was very insightful. You definitely seem wise beyond your years, and you seem to have an old soul like me - after all, I'm only 17. And I'm sure you can make it through whatever you are going through right now. You have to have faith in that, if nothing else. Keep up the good work! :)
I'm so proud of you, you know.
(y)
-mei mei
hey michael,
been a long time since I last commented on your blog! I'm really glad to see you're still doing it. Your commitment is inspiring.
I can really relate to this post, cos' after years of fighting for what I believed in, I gave up. I felt tired and burnt out, and just wanted life to be easy.
But the easy way is the hard way, as you know.
One thing I've learned in the last year is how important it is to have people who support us as we pursue our dreams. Ultimately we're all flying solo, but we're not islands either. I can honestly say that the only reason I was able to reconnect with my passion was because of the encouragement of people who really 'saw' me.
I've learnt to never say never.
love,
yola
I loved every word you wrote .It so true and its with all of us.Sometimes when things don't work the way we want we change ourself ,we go into the shell and in this process hurt ourself :(
So never give up and keep up the spirit :-)
wonderful thoughts... it brought back so many old memories...
Here's my take
on WWIII with N Korea:
C'est la guerre, n'est-ce pas??
Que cera cera!!
trustNjesus.
ALWAYS.
God bless your indelible soul.
Here's my take
on WWIII with N Korea:
C'est la guerre, n'est-ce pas??
Que cera cera!!
trustNjesus.
ALWAYS.
God bless your indelible soul.
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