I enjoy deep thought a lot. The deeper the better. Thinking about thinking about thinking about thinking is like achieving a perfectly cooked steak. (Seriously, try it. Betcha can't get past the third 'thinking'.) As much as I would like to 'live in the moment' and just 'go with it', I find that lying in the subconscious are tons of wonderful things to stimulate the mind and really make you wonder about the purpose of all that's around you and the meaning that lies within your own existence. People always tell me I overthink things too much, but I have to disagree. I think having reasons for every aspect of what I do, what I feel, and what I believe, is important and useful because it gives me justification for my actions, it gives me direction and clarifies my goals, and it helps me improve myself when I focus on what I do wrong exactly.
Today is just a rambling, because my mind is quite tired at the moment from over six hours of this continual thought. I guess deep thought is only good for me in short amounts. Before I wrote these paragraphs, I wanted to talk about a great number of things, which I won't bore myself with now, but a rave is what I've decided to finally publish here, because I just cannot decide on one thing to talk about.
One thing that really saddens me is the fact that not many people out there are willing to get into a deep and meaningful conversation (a phenomenon my ex-classmates used to abbreviate to the term, 'DMC's'). Most people just like to stay with superficial chit-chat, which is not a bad thing at all in my opinion - just not my cup of tea. It doesn't sadden me because I think it's pathetic to discuss things that are shallower, it saddens me because I just don't know how to talk about things like that for prolonged periods of time, and it isolates me, and makes me different from others.
But I think that everybody needs to have DMC's every now and then, and it sort of compensates for my loneliness when people come to me to talk about serious things. I like being the one they can come to, and even rely on to sort out other people's problems. I may lose my usefulness once the conversation topic lightens up, but at least I did my part in bringing them past the thorny parts. And that's all I really want to say today. Goodnight.
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