59 - Just dance, gonna be okay.

I went out drinking again.

I don't know what to say, because I don't know what happened. I just want to sleep my troubles away, like many people do, but I know I will have to face the consequences of my actions tonight.

However, I love the dancing, and some selected drinks.

I miss my best friend. I wish he was here right now.

He would know what to do.

I love him too much for my own good.

I've lost so much in the past few weeks. I want to look toward my parents and my class for some sort of light, some sort of guidance, because they are the people I'm obliged to be with.

On the other hand, they disappoint me, they hurt me, they piss me off.

Am I expecting too much? Am I too susceptible to insult? Am I too emotional?

Yes, yes and yes.

It doesn't matter.

It all doesn't matter because next year I won't even be here anymore.

I don't just mean in a physical sense.

My personality - I'm radically changing it when I go to university.

Even if you come back to me, even if you regret it, you won't find me there.

I'm gone.