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I do this most of all with my money, and my snacks. There must have been at least fifty times in the past four years, when I've exited the school premises, and on my way home, noticed that I had a lollipop or a Mars Bar in my bag or in my jacket pocket that I forgot I even purchased at least a day ago. And I would often hide my money in between the pages of books, and then I would forget about it until I found it again, long after the day I hid it in the first place.
And everytime I found one of these nice surprises, I look up at the sky, for that is where destiny/fate/the past is to me, and I say to myself, Well done, Michael...
Because in some weird subconscious way, I was treating myself for the future without even knowing it.
Today, I was tidying my room here at university because I wanted it to look neat for when my mother comes to visit me next week. Inside one of my drawers, I unexpectedly found £10. I was so happy, 'cause I had actually come to believe I was broke. For almost seven weeks, I had almost nothing in my bank account, and nothing but a bowl of copper coins in cash. And I somewhat believe that a few months ago, I had hidden that £10 purposefully for a day like this - where I was on the verge of starvation, in desperate need for some seed money for my mini-welcome party for my mother... and low and behold, I got it.
It's been nearly five months since I last saw my mother, and after she leaves, it'll be close to another five months 'til I see her again. Since I've come to the UK from Hong Kong, I've forced myself not to think about things like missing my parents or missing my best friend, because I know it's not healthy to yearn. I never had to will myself not to think about these things, though... it wasn't a challenge. It just happened naturally, subconsciously, and I think, again, these things that happen in the subconscious are my mind's attempt at treating me well in the long run, a form of forward-thinking, you might say.
I'm not going to lie - I miss home. I miss the food especially, the clubbing district, and doing something everyday with my friends or either one of my parents. It seems that everybody I know is going to go back to Hong Kong this winter holiday, leave their university lives in Canada, the US and the UK, and go back to my home city for Christmas and New Year's break.
My return flight to Hong Kong is scheduled for July 10th, and although that is a long while away from today, I look at it in the following way.
The anticipation of my return had been building up, and will continue building up, and the longer I'm away from home, the more excited I get to actually go back, I look forward to going home, but I'm not moaning about it, asking God why it's not happening sooner. I know the truth is that I'm staying here, I've accepted it, I'm not letting it bother me, and I'm looking at it in a positive way.
I've discovered that I've grown up a lot since four or five years ago. I like the way in which I approach relationships, schoolwork, life, the social scene, and tough decisions when they arise. In a way, I'm not troubled by anything, I'm not worried and I'm confident in the way I handle things. I don't need reassurance from others, I don't need to depend on anyone else to keep me elevated. I elevate myself to a psychological, emotional state that is comfortable, complacent, and content.
Feels good, like nobody can touch me. Hah.
So, last weekend, I went to spend some time with my old friends in London. It was great to see them again, and to do so in London, the capital of the United Kingdom. When I was in Hong Kong, I remember dreaming about the times I would have in University College London (UCL), but unfortunately, I didn't achieve good enough results to attend UCL, and so I settled for the University of Kent in Canterbury instead. It's okay because Canterbury has proven to be an okay place to study too, just a bit far away from all the fun, interesting things that they have to do in London. It's costly to get there and come back, but I thought that it was a good trip regardless.
I loved the British Museum, as I knew I would. I remember actually being there once before, with my mother four years ago when we went on a tour through Europe. We only walked through one level before, though, so it was good to finally explore all the galleries slowly. My mother never really knew how to appreciate the history of artifacts and such, although, she does have a strong liking for the Statue of David and any other Renaissance sculptures made of white marble. She likes the art, which I guess is the main thing, but she knows little of the actual background to each piece.
I'm also quite fond of the statues, but the Greek and Roman antiquities are my favorite. Although Greek pottery may not appeal to everyone, I personally could spend all day standing there, comparing the Greek myths, in writing, to what's actually depicted by the black-figures on the reddish-brown vases.
The nightlife in London resembles that of Hong Kong, only bigger, noisier, more crowded, and more versatile. I quite like the atmosphere, so I think I'll be going back there.
Food is also better there, as there's more variety and quality to it. Although I didn't buy anything to eat from Camden Market, it looked like a buffet of multinational cuisine. Looked like a great place to shop, as well.
All in all, not a very exciting trip, but a trip nonetheless, and a good break from studying. I love seeing my old friends so much, and wish I could see them everyday, and there's something about hugging them once again that's different from simply communicating with them online that makes it a whole lot better. I miss my friends in Hong Kong, especially my best friend. Next summer, I'm going to make up for it hopefully.
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