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The idea was taken from Argentum Vulgaris' Nether Region of the Earth II. His meme is here. I always do these kinds of things, so I'm not as uncomfortable with it as some of the other bloggers are.
LAYER ONE:
– Name: Michael Benjamin C. Rivera
– Birth date: Thursday, May 30th, 1991
– Birthplace: Hong Kong
– Current Location: Hong Kong– Eye Color: Brown
– Hair Color: Black
– Height: 174cm, (66kg by the way)
– Righty or Lefty: Righty
– Zodiac Sign: Gemini
LAYER TWO:
– Your heritage: Filipino dad, Hong Konger mom
– The shoes you wore today: Nike
– Your weakness: Sorry to say: food.
– Your fears: Not-so-seriously? Frogs and lizards. Seriously? Long-term loneliness and heartbreak.
– Your perfect pizza: Cheese, Ham, Pineapple, known as a Hawaiian pizza?
– Goal you’d like to achieve: Oh, this list can go on forever. I guess the one that I have to achieve is parent a kid (or two) for eighteen years in a way that I deem to be a success.
LAYER THREE:
– Your most overused phrase on AIM MSN: When I ask people, "What is up?" or "What are you doing?", they say, "Nothing much" and that annoys me.
– Your first waking thoughts: Grumblegrumblegrumble... fuck.
– Your best physical feature: Girls have complimented on my arms. It scares me.
– Your most missed memory: Being an innocent little child in my first years of primary school.
LAYER FOUR:
– Pepsi or Coke: Coke. Pepsi is sewage.
– McDonald’s or Burger King: McDonald's. (AV, you don't have Burger King!?!)
– Single or group dates: I like either if the other people are the right people.
– Adidas or Nike: I think for purposes relating to merely the name, Adidas.
– Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I don't like cold tea.
– Chocolate or vanilla: Vanilla.
– Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino. Sounds fancier and tastes better to me.
LAYER FIVE:
– Smoke: I'd say socially, which is rare as I am not social.
– Cuss: All the fuckin' time.
– Sing: In my room and at karaoke places, but never, ever on stage.
– Take a shower everyday: Yup. Hot ones in the winter, cold ones in the summer.
– Do you think you’ve been in love: I would say so, but I know I've fallen too quickly, too often and for the wrong people.
– Want to go to college: University.
– Liked high school: Academically satisfying. Socially (or perhaps politically) hellish.
– Want to get married: ...one day.
– Believe in yourself: Most of the time and proud of it.
– Get motion sickness: Haven't for a long time.
– Think you’re attractive: On the outside or the inside? Oh, you know what, doesn't matter. No.
– Think you’re a health freak: Far from it.
– Get along with your parent(s): My father is not a part of my life (as is the case for a lot of my friends). My mother and I have dinner often.
– Like thunderstorms: Not particularly.
– Play an instrument: I've had guitar, piano and singing lessons. I'm absolutely horrible when it comes to music.
LAYER SIX: In the past month…
– Drank alcohol: Yes. Halloween party... been quite a while now.
– Smoked: Yes.
– Done a drug: No, I don't think so.
– Made Out: Nearly. Hahaha.
– Gone on a date: No.
– Gone to the mall?: To have dinner with some friends, but not shopping.
– Eaten an entire box of Oreos?: YES! Oh, my God. Although, not as fun as eating an entire box of ICE CREAM.
– Eaten sushi: Hong Kong people love sushi and I am no exception. If I had to put a count on the number of the times I've eaten sushi, the number would be in the hundreds.
– Been on stage: Not in the past month, no.
– Been dumped: No.
– Gone skating: No.
– Made homemade cookies: Sadly, no oven.
– Gone skinny dipping: Not recently, but I know that it's weird and it's cold.
– Dyed your hair: No... but I miss the blue/silver strand of hair I had six years ago.
– Stolen Anything: Yes and I've been punished badly for it.
LAYER SEVEN: Ever…
– Played a game that required removal of clothing: Strip poker is INTENSE. Thankfully, I'm good at poker.
– Been trashed or extremely intoxicated: Not yet.
– Been caught “doing something”: Not yet.
– Been called a tease: Yes, although I don't know what that means exactly.
– Gotten beaten up: In my first year of primary school.
– Shoplifted: Nope.
– Changed who you were to fit in: I used to and it didn't work out very well.
LAYER EIGHT:
– Age you hope to be married: Huh... in my 20s.
– Numbers and Names of Children: I have eight imaginary children. Their names are: Ada, Bernard, Conrad, David, Elinore, Fred, George and Harry. I don't know who their mother(s) is/are.
– Describe your Dream Wedding: Oh, I have so any ideas. Church, beach, fancy hotel, Greek island, casino, tropical resort. Sigh.
– How do you want to die: In a rocking chair, retired, watching television series DVDs.
– Where you want to go to college: University, applied for three in the UK, three in Australia, four in Canada. Crossing my fingers.
– What do you want to be when you grow up: Forensic anthropologist, film/television scriptwriter, private investigator, English teacher.
– What country would you most like to visit: I want to visit Egypt and Greece.
LAYER NINE:
– Number of drugs taken illegally: Two, ******* and ********.
– Number of people I could trust with my life: Two, my mother and my best friend.
– Number of CDs that I own: None, I obtain my movies, television and music by other (illegal) means.
– Number of piercings: None, and I never will. It freaks me out.
– Number of tattoos: None, and it also freaks me out, however, I might get one if I can find something significant enough to print on my skin.
– Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: None, that I know of.
– Number of scars on my body: Two? Three?
– Number of things in my past that I regret: Too many, but one occasion in particular almost cost me my life.
There used to be a time where I was always considered a cocky, self-righteous, self-indulgent, selfish person, and my friends would always tell me to grow up, to be more gentle and generous and basically, be good. Having heard that advice, and having been through long, painful years where I've gradually lost contact with those old friends, I've made new friends since then, and you know, they're kind, and they're friendly, but I'm very unhappy when I'm around them.
In the old days, everything bad that happened to me, I deserved it. Nowadays, everything bad that happens to me, I often think it's my fault, but lately, I've found myself confused, asking myself about what I've been doing to deserve to be so unhappy these past few weeks. I asked people, "What am I doing wrong?", and you know what... you know what the funny thing is? They told me, that I'm "not doing anything wrong".
And that's exactly what I thought, and exactly why I found myself confused, because I'm a big believer in karma. I believe we all get what we deserve. I've grown. I'm more gentle and generous. And I've been told by others that I'm a good, good person deep inside. So even after changing myself to be less arrogant and self-centered, why is it that I'm still unhappy? I ask others this question, and they say something along the lines of: "because that's life" or "because life is not always fair" or "because that's the way the cookie crumbles"... and that just leads me to become even more confused.
I hate being unhappy, and not being able to change myself to perhaps bring about my own joy. I want to know what I'm doing wrong. What am I doing wrong?
Oh, no! Tagged by Jessica from TAKE THIS TO HEART.
The tag rules are as follows:
1. Each player starts with eight random fact/habits about themselves.
2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
3. At the end of your blog post, you need to tag eight people and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’ve been tagged and to read your blog.
Eight facts about me:
1. I want to study anthropology in university (all aspects - biological, linguistic, socio-cultural, archeological).
2. I'm writing a 4000-word essay about Hell.
3. I hate/have a fear of lizards and frogs.
4. The most relaxing place for me is the beach.
5. At school, I study Chemistry, Maths, English, Physics, Mandarin and Economics.
6. I love my best friend the most.
7. I really want to go to on holiday in Greece and Egypt.
8. My top five favorite dishes are: Caeser salad with salmon, macaroni and cheese, a full English breakfast, meatloaf with mashed potatoes, and cookie dough flavored ice cream.
*drool*
The eight whom I tag:
1. J.J. from The World According To J.J. in L.A.
2. Patrice from Patrice Karst on Life, Love, 2012, Mysteries, Miracles and the Whole Wild Ride on Planet Earth!
3. hrix from moonless night...
4. Cathe from The Island of Cathe's Mind.
5. Dan from opencorrespondence.
6. Erica from Miss Fong in Hong Kong.
7. Yolanda from the stuff life is made of.
8. Zoe from Zobot Robot.
The air is getting colder here in Hong Kong, which is why I am thankful for the warmth my laptop provides me with. I only got my laptop a few months ago, so this is the first time I'm making use of my laptop in this fashion. It's nice.
Finally, here comes the dawn of my new blog, prompted by the impersonality I felt while writing my other one, Do you hate it too?
So, as I sit here, at six in the morning, before I head off for another week of school, I'm thinking about how I'm seventeen years old, how I'm in my last year of school, and how in seven months time, everything I've done for eighteen years will all be over. I can't wait to go to university and a lot of my friends think the same way.
For me, though, it's the independence that I so strongly seek, and the unknown that I'm so eager to discover. I want to move to a new place, study in a new school, meet new people, all that good stuff that you hear about. I mean, it's new, and it's exciting, you don't know what's going to happen. I so badly want to know where I will be in a year's time, but I am alright with not knowing. I know that I'll find out soon enough. By then, I will be thinking, "wow, time goes by so quickly". But I really cannot wait to test myself. Test my ability to cope, and to see what my adult self is like. I can't wait, I can't wait, I cannot wait.
Time here in Hong Kong for all my life has been long and hard, to say the least. There are so many things that I have gone through that I would never mention anywhere on the Internet, but they have shaped me, they have helped to influence me into the person I am. There are good memories as well, of course. They are good and I miss them so badly. I miss my childhood naivety, things used to be so easy then. The things I took for granted as a child have all become sort of like burdens in my teenage life. Family, friends, school.
I cannot take away my past. I cannot take away the fact that I have lived here all my life. I love this place that foreigners know as 'Hong Kong'. To me, it's really my home. I know it so well. I can live in it so well. But it's the comfort and the homeliness that makes me uneasy. I need to leave this place to discover a new me, a better me. I need to leave. It makes me nauseous to think that I have to stay here any longer. I love it, but I must leave it. Such conflicting feelings are hard to swallow.
I can't wait to leave.
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