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In two days, my mother is coming from Hong Kong to visit me here in the UK. We're planning to head up to Edinburgh for a couple of days, and booking tickets and accommodation for us has been mentally taxing. In the past few days, I've been trying to research and brainstorm all the things we could do in Scotland and in Kent, and I'm just very, very tired now. You would think that her going to visit one of her old students in Exeter for two days would help lessen the burden, but I actually have a test the day after she comes back. My break-from-Mom gone, just like that. In the next month, I'm also planning to meet up with two of my closest friends, three times, separately, in London. I have two essays due and a lot of computer stuff to do too. I've also had to search for accommodation for next year, and it's been a complete nightmare so far...
I actually have plans to open up another blog... on the 15th of February in fact. On top of getting that ready, I also have to prepare posts on this blog and Do you hate it too? for each day that I'm with my mother, from the 10th to the 20th. It's all just snowballed, and it's all really, really, really working me hard, but I just have to power through it, I guess.
There are two times during the year that have notoriously been very busy times for me. One is around February/March, the other is around May/June. Every year during these times, I'm so, so stressed out and I just cannot feel relaxed. In the past, there have been plays to perform, examinations to take, orals to do, 4,000-word essays to hand in, presentations, reports, and so many birthdays and anniversaries to attend...
I'm so tired. These two times of the year I always see coming my way, but I never have any defense set up to protect myself from it. This year, it's going to change - it has to change. I need to quickly pick up my efficiency so that I can deal with things faster and more effectively, hence prevent stressing myself out during these times again.
And now, I'm a little bit hungry.
Okay, actually, I'm very hungry. So I'm going to go make some pasta. Toodles.
And then I feel like my soul is emerging out of my body, and I'm watching myself, criticizing everything I have going on in that moment in time, from what I chose to wear that day, to how high my expectations are for tomorrow, from how yesterday's actions have changed me for better or for worse, to how what I'm doing at that moment in time is relevant and beneficial in the bigger picture called my life.
This out-of-body experience only comes about when I have too much to remember at one time. It's kind of like an automatic system reboot that follows a system overload to prevent it from overheating. I just felt like that a while ago. And I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders right now.
Too often, I burden myself with too much to handle - and I spread myself too thin and end up with a couple pieces of very bland toast. A very good example of this is how I say I will blog everyday, but actually don't because I want to catch up with some television shows. However, I'm still not up-to-date on those because I have some work for university to get done. And I haven't gotten that done yet because I have some personal networking to do on Facebook - catching up with long-time-no-sees and photos to "like" and leave a "comment" under. I haven't got round to that because there are TV reviews to read. I haven't gotten round to that because there are webcomics to catch up with.
But my music playlists need serious updating. And a friend told me to check out this new anime series. Wait, my cousin asked me to read this book. And this other friend told me to watch a series of videos on Youtube. Now, I'm hungry. Now, I feel dirty, let me go take a shower. Now, I'm sleepy, I'm going to go to bed.
Oh, shit, 7am already?
Darn it.
...I didn't get to finish yesterday's blog post.
I seriously need to get more organized.
Or maybe I should throw away some parts of my life.
I don't want to, though. I wish I was more high-powered. I wish I did things more efficiently. There never seems to be enough time in the day...
It's getting to the time of the year where it really is a true testament to how dedicated I really am with my blogging. I said I would write in all my blogs regularly, but the simple fact of the matter is - inspiration and creativity only comes to you in patches, for only certain times in a given day, week, month, year, or point in your life. There's also the added matter of having to live with a billion others things to do as well. Oh, the perilous life of university murders my soul...
I find that I'm feeling really writery (writerish?) right now, so I think the only way I'm ever going to manage getting something published frequently on all three of my current blogs, is if I just prepare posts beforehand right here, right now, as I feel imaginative, innovative, prolific with ideas.
Don't you think that's so smart?
I think it's genius. But whether I'm going to get distracted while I'm in the middle of writing this upcoming week's posts is an issue of concern. Oh, well. Let's see what happens.
I was taking off my socks just now, and as I raised my left leg up, I hit my knee on the edge of my desk. I managed to hit the funny bone in my knee, whatever that is, one of those pressure points that cause extreme pain, and I basically just fell off my chair (as I only had one foot on the ground for stability), and collapsed on to the floor. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me, and I couldn't even bring myself to shout or cuss. I banged by knee, and created a thud on the floor, and now I'm wondering how little things like that happen in our everyday life but never get mentioned due to the insignificance of it.
So I'm talking about it here, right now. Pain is funny. And thought-provoking.
When was the last time you finished a book?
The last time I did was over a month ago, and I find that's quite a shame. There's so much to get done here at university, that you don't even realize the days are flying by. It's already nearing November, and I haven't done any studying of any kind, I haven't started on any essays, I haven't found a part-time job, and I don't know - it seems like I haven't done anything except buy food, eat the food, go to sleep, relax in my room and engage in unproductive shenanigans on the computer.
I'm going to have to start getting serious, first, by tidying up my messy room with books, papers, and food spread out all over the desk, the nightstand, the shelves and the floor. Then, take some clothes to the laundry, and iron the clothes that came out of the laundry over a week ago.
Poo.
Hello, hello,
I'm going to try and do something I've never done with this blog, and that is to try to blog daily. I have set aside a time every day (11pm-11:30pm) to just insert a little post here for some reflections on the day and a little recount of what's been going on. I feel really nice reading the daily occurrences in the lives of other, more dedicated, bloggers, and I want to try and do that too.
This weekend has been incredibly lazy, and I have done nothing but catch up on my television series and play Pokémon on my NDS. I have a lot of reading I could be doing, but you know how it is - could have, should have, would have. I know that there will be some time soon when I'll be feeling really, really proactive, and will feel like working, but this weekend just wasn't it.
As for the new anthropology blog, I need to come up with a catchy title - any ideas? I still haven't even started laying it out yet. I will get right on it soon, and with any luck, something will be up by next weekend.
Oh, which reminds me, I am going to LONDON next weekend. Which I'm very excited about. Canterbury has honestly made me feel like a hermit, who lives in a small town of hermits, and I'm just so happy to know that I'm going to be going to be hitting Londontown, visit the British Museum and Soho and all that jazz soon.
This is such a filler post, but hopefully, I'll find something to talk about tomorrow. Adios for now, I hope you've enjoyed your weekend as much as I have, be it a lazy one or not.
University life is not that radically different from the life I led back in Hong Kong. My friends all tell me how great it is to finally live beyond the smothering, overly restrictive hold of their parents, how wonderful it finally is to be free. But I've always had kind of a free lifestyle (whether that's a good or bad thing is unclear), so I don't really feel much change. I've always been able to do whatever I want, eat what I want, make friends with whoever I want, without anybody ever telling me what I should or shouldn't do.
This makes my journey of life a big trial-and-error process. That's the way I don't necessarily prefer to live my life - simply, it is the way I have done so, to feel accomplished after logically working out a suitable solution to my problems, and to feel humbled and enlightened when my thought-up solution turns out to be not that suitable.
So far, I have been eating a lot of microwave meals and junk food in the past two weeks. Whenever I sense a sore throat coming, I purchase a ready-to-eat, dielectrically heatable soup - which should be healthier, and good for my throat. I drink it, and the soreness wears away. Laundry has been easy, I've just followed the instructions on the box - no white clothes coming out colored is a WIN for me. Ironing has gone successfully as well - thanks to instructions and tutorials on Youtube and DIY websites that I simply Googled. And lecture theaters have been easy to locate. I was always good at reading maps. And having a good directional sense in the absence of one.
Life is nice. I decide what I eat. I'm learning what I want to learn. I truly have my own room, which I decorate and keep clean myself. I join the clubs and societies I have a passion for. I might get a part-time job soon - bartending or waiting, of course. I have so much time to do whatever I want, to read, to watch television series and review them, to write, to explore this new place, and to just think to myself - there has been a lot of time to myself. This amount of independence is certainly a step above what I had in Hong Kong.
And it feels incredibly good.
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